AND THEN YOU CRY AGAIN!

With acknowledgement to Betty Rollins who back in 1976 wrote, “ First, You Cry” as she chronicled her battle with breast cancer. My story is not remotely as clear as hers, but I did want to share with friends and acquaintances my story. To the cancer survivors who I interact with on a daily basis and have only shared it with close family and friends know I will respect your wishes and not mention any names, besides, I think others already know but have decided not to blow your cover.

It was June 16, 2015 when my wife and I sat with my urologist and officially heard the words, “you are confirmed to have cancer.” Prostate Cancer is one of the most survivable cancers when caught early enough. Still the words caused a sting that can only be described as a punch to the solar plexus or a kick to the crotch. My wife and I had prepared ourselves for the news, so now we just wanted to hear and understand our options. Radiation therapy, removal of the prostate via laparoscopic surgery or a radical prostatectomy. After reviewing all short and long-term options we went with the radical prostatectomy. They claim that it is 99% effective for the first 5 years post surgery and will remain there from years 6-15. Hell, 62 plus a possible 15 years after the surgery, those odds sounded pretty good. Doctors say that you will probably die from something else and not from prostate cancer.

So how did we get here? My wife had neck surgery back in February 2015; she had 8 screws fused to her neck to relieve severe neck pain. Her doctors were so fantastic that I wanted to join her plan. The primary doctor suggested I go to see a cardiologist, nephrologist and a urologist. Of course blood work was required and during one of the review sessions, my PSA level came up at 4.6, which is too high and an indicator of something wrong going on. She insisted on my seeing the urologist ASAP.

The urologist tells me the only way to know for certain is for me to have a biopsy. Then he goes on to detail how the biopsy will take place. I will spare you the intimate details as to how they extracted the information. Suffice it to say that after drawing 12 samples, cancer was confirmed. That’s when the treatment options were presented. The doctors said go and have fun on your Italy vacation and we will have surgery when you return.

To those who have undergone the procedure, we all know that the fear of the unknown is almost a “crazying” event while you wait for your day to come. Will I survive? Will it hurt? How will my family deal with things if I don’t make it? I will surely miss my friends and family so let me touch base with as many as possible.

So we move forward to the night before the surgery, I have used up my brave face and now the reality of the impending event is upon me. “We” check in at 7:15 in the morning amazingly by 7:45am I’m already in a pre-surgery room. The nurses check me in, the anesthesiologists check in, visiting doctors check in and finally my surgeon checks in and asks are you ready? What am I supposed to say?…No, I’m scared shitless and can I change my mind. But I meekly said yes, lets do this. 30 seconds later I’m given a knockout pill and told they are about to wheel me to the operating room. Before I can look at my surroundings, my wife tells me I passed out

and that she kissed me goodbye prior to my entering the operating room. So I slept through what could have been my last kiss.

“Mr. Muniz, Mr. Muniz, we need you to wake up.” Am I in heaven? Nah, this can’t be heaven, they would call me by another name. So this must mean that I’m alive. Holy crap I made it! Don’t know exactly how long I was on the operating table (the Mrs. can fill in the blanks) but I was fully awake around 6pm with the nurse saying we will have to get you walking later on tonight. WALKING? ME? WTF! HELL NO, I’M STAYING HERE NICE AND COMFY. I’ve been looking forward to the Donald Trump debate. It’s at this point that I want to thank the Doctors, Nurses and staff at the University of Miami Medical Center.They are mostly unheralded, but anyone who has stayed there knows they are the ultimate caregivers. I had nurses coming in every two hours to check my vitals and take blood. Stool softener and pain meds. Somewhere during the night the chief nurse came in to check the wound and to clean the catheter. By the time you leave you are past the embarrassment of someone manhandling your shortcomings. You get to the point where you say to yourself touch away, just don’t hurt me. Within 24 hours of the surgery I am actually up and moving around. My wife stayed with me all-night and slept on a lounger sofa.

It was a wonderful sight to see and hear her say I Love You early in the morning.

To those who have already travelled this journey I want to say that it is so comforting to have a loved one go through this with you. To those who did this alone, I am truly sorry you did not have a backup available to walk with you.

We posted a picture on Facebook of my walking around. The joke was that I was walking bow-legged because my nads were so swollen, they were bouncing against my thighs. I know, very funny. The other joke at my expense, I am groggy and sleepy from my med encounter when someone (two) people from UMMC come to ask me some questions. One of the questions they asked was “What is your pain scale” pain scale? I heard what is your pay scale so I answered $$$$$$; everyone in the room was laughing and taken aback, I had actually fallen asleep sitting up for about 30 seconds after answering their question. I tried it again and passed out for about an hour. My last hurdle was having to poop before I was to be released, I just couldn’t produce, but they let me leave Saturday by 3pm. My friend and work wife Andrea was on the spot texting and making sure I was ok. My home wife loves her almost as much as I do.

Made it home Saturday night and hopped into bed and slept until Sunday morning.

By Sunday I was taking my OXYCODONE(WTF) regularly. It only takes me 30 minutes before I pass out.

To all my friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers I want you to know that I am truly humbled and feel the love and caring. As many others who have taken this journey there are some steps that need to be shared with close family only. I am not excluding you; just give me some time to present myself at my best. I know that it’s uncomfortable for me and friends after we say I’m sorry for you and is there something I can do for you? I want to avoid all that so give me a few days till after my catheter gets removed. It’s not a pretty sight, especially for children!

Once again, Thanks for all the love and concern and I promise to update you all on my progress.

THINGS I VALUE!

We have been back home for over 2 weeks now and I have finally gone back to work. Boy, I missed going to work. Although still sporting a vacation glow, it was fun cleaning and straightening out my office. While cleaning up I came across two items which may not have much monetary value but certainly are priceless to me.

The first item is an autographed hard copy of “Ball Four” written by Jim Bouton. In 1971 and 1972 I was doing an internship at WCBS-TV and worked with Jim Bouton assisting the associate producer with the 6pm sportscast. Bouton and I talked about sports, real life, family, sex and more sports. The autograph reads “To my main man Pete, a hard worker and a hellava guy.” 43 years, it has followed me all over, I love it and cherish it.

The next item I came across was a 7 or 8 pound rock which I dug out of the ground at a glacier when we went to Alaska in 2006. Maybe the rock is 100 years old, then again maybe its 10,000 years old. Whichever is right it only means something to me, to me it’s priceless.

On Friday, I was having lunch with one of my mentees. I have been mentoring him for over 10 years. For the first time his father and I were at the same place at the same time. When we were introduced he said to me “Thank you for opening your heart to my son.” Those simple words meant so much to me that it made my heart burst with pride. I thanked him and told him that his son was still going to do greater things.

Since I am now feeling a little nostalgic, today I wanted to acknowledge people and situations that have been of value to me over the years. Of course, I have to start with my Mom through which all lessons good and bad have been learned. They are just too many to list and detail. To my brother Richard, those early years were truly magical. The adventures we were on while growing up brings tears to my eyes even today. Nothing but good thoughts and good times!

My cousins Artie and Betty who have always demonstrated love and kindness even while dodging a deadly fork. Their mother (my aunt Lala) whose love for me was unconditional to the very end.

Samaria Christian church, for setting the foundation that I believe every young person should have while determining their life path. Aviation High School for making me believe that I was intellectually superior and to demonstrate it on a daily basis. Some say it’s closer to obnoxious than self confidant. I guess to each his own.

To some I will now recognize by name, just know that you contributed to things of value in my life whether through actions, thoughts or words. Nilsa Hernandez, my hero till the day I die. Ron Green,forever and always in my thoughts. Gil and Marcia Dominguez. Gil for those great tennis matches and Marcia for loving Jason. Raymond Broussard, for being great yet being humble at the same time.

WCBS-TV, George Dessart, Jim Bouton, Jim Jensen, Roland Smith and Dave Marash.

Irving Trust Company, for giving me an opportunity while still claiming I was over qualified for the job. Raymond and Gloria Mercado, Ray you always forced me to be better and try harder. You earned my love and respect. Gloria, for introducing me to chess, a lifetime passion. And introducing me to my wife till death do us part.

Shaking hands with Bobby Fischer at City Hall after beating Boris Spassky for the World Chess Championship.

Game 6, 1986 World Series, Mookie Wilson, Keith Hernandez, Gary Carter, Darryl Strawberry and Dwight Gooden. That’s a never ending smile.

Liberty Travel, Maria Squillante for taking through the comeback.

David Balavram, Jay Alenick, Vince Parente, Shelly Senzon, Maurice Sheraby and Mike Dembin the one and only person to cross my two worlds. Sports and Academics. Sylvia Knight and Aida Santana, know that all obstacles can be overcome. Tough times never last, tough people do! Stay tough. Cynthia Park, for opening my eyes.

Nicole Marengo, Kelisa Felice, Nelson Hernandez, Rashaad Green and Reinaldo Green.

My son Jason, If I have ever disappointed you I am truly sorry and thank you for loving me anyway!

My wife Lil is of course my heart and soul. She is my most valued partner. My love is neverending.

If you don’t know what you did in order to earn a shout out call me and I’ll remind you.

To those who I missed and disappointed or did not include; call me and remind me.

To all others, its my list and that’s the way I see it!